... never having to say you are sorry.

Asking for and granting forgiveness should be two of the most common activities in the Christian home.  This concept is generally lost on the world and the church seems to have a hard time with it as well.  What are the typical responses in our culture?  First we usually say "I'm sorry", which more often than not means "I wish I hadn't been caught".  I usually hear responses like "It's OK", "No harm done", or "No problem".  However, its not OK, harm has been done and there is a real problem that needs to be addressed by both parties.  The need to sincerely ask for forgiveness and the great gift of bestowing that forgiveness on the other is one of the chief callings of the Christian.  The Apostle Paul calls all Christians to be "Ministers of Reconciliation"- what is this if not granting forgiveness to others and restoring communion.   Jesus made this astounding statement:  “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."   

So, in our home we have developed a simple little "liturgy of forgiveness".  We don't allow the word "sorry" to be used. It goes like this:

  

The asking:  "[Name] will you please forgive me for [the specific offense committed]."

The response:  "I will forgive you"

Pretty simple, but it is amazingly effective.  The offender must own up to what he or she did, and the offended gets to bestow the blessing of forgiveness and reconciliation.  Here is the real key however; mom and dad must do this in front of the children as well as to the children.  The real blessing occurs when dad says to the six year old "Please forgive me for raising my voice to you" and his son says "I will forgive you."